


When I'm With You

by scifi



Series: long way home (ii tour fics) [10]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, Introspection, M/M, Post-Tour, proposal, pyjama week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-17 11:54:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16095152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scifi/pseuds/scifi
Summary: back in london after months on tour, the timing feels right for phil to ask the question that has been on the tip of his tongue for years





	When I'm With You

**Author's Note:**

> written for phandomficfests bingo using the prompt ‘commitment’

Pyjama week had gotten off to a good start. It had only been two days but Phil could count on one hand the number of times they had left the bed. Jetlag had him in a vice grip ever since the moment he stepped through the door; months on tour and a bumpy flight had finally caught up on them. Time had faded away until day and night no longer mattered. The only things that mattered were that they were back home, sleeping on their own bed for the first time in months.

Outside the sky was lavender and Phil had no idea if it was dawn or dusk. He had woken up not long ago with a mess of curls in his face. Dan was curled snugly against him, still sound asleep and Phil hadn’t dared move. He didn’t want to disturb Dan because he looked too peaceful; for the first time in months, stress didn’t follow him into sleep.

They still had stress to face; a movie to edit and the tbc dates to confirm, but for now they could forget about all that. Pyjama week is just for them and by the way Dan’s lips were pulled into a small smile as he slept, Phil knew that the plan was working. 

As much as he’d love to stay curled up with Dan, his stomach was rumbling and his mouth was parched. Gently, he slipped out of bed making sure not to disturb his partner, and headed to the kitchen. It was weird being back home, walking down hallways that felt unfamiliar after months on tour. The kitchen was still stark, they had only done a quick trip to Sainsbury’s the day they got back, grabbing just the essentials. Phil made a mental reminder to do a bigger shop tomorrow, or today, he still didn’t know if it was dawn or dusk outside. 

He grabbed the box of Shreddies that was sitting on the counter, it wasn’t the most exciting meal but it was comforting to eat British cereal again. He didn’t bother finding a bowl and milk because a bowl meant washing up, so he instead just dipped his hand into the box. Shreddies weren’t Dan’s Crunchy Nut but it would do just fine. 

After downing a glass of water, and then another, Phil left the kitchen with Shreddies in hand. He probably had emails to answer, texts to read, and phone calls to make but not yet. It was Pyjama week after all; interaction with other humans could wait until he felt a bit less exhausted. He was so close to finishing Hollow Knight but he didn’t want to do that either. Phil still felt a bit groggy from sleeping; he needed a coffee but they had forgotten to buy instant so he suffered instead of gaming.

When he walked past the AmazingPhil room, Phil hesitated. He hadn’t stepped foot in there in almost six months, not since they filmed  _ Giving the People What They Want _ . That felt so long ago now, nothing but a distant memory buried beneath months of tour. He almost didn’t want to step through the door. The set, just like the video, felt like something from so long ago. It was the bedroom of an AmazingPhil who didn’t exist anymore. 

The tour had changed him. He’d gone into it unsure of his future, of the balance he and Dan needed with their fans. He had come out of the tour knowing the answers to both of those things. The last few months had allowed him to realise that no matter what happens afterwards, Dan will always be by his side and that’s all he needs to be happy. Dan’s all he’ll ever need. 

He opened the door to the set, otherwise known as a guest bedroom in disguise. The air is stale after months of being untouched and dust lingered, making him want to sneeze. He reached to turn on the light and he was confronted with everything being exactly the same as he left it. Untouched. A relic of his old life. 

The props are over-dramatic, cartoon-like almost. A stark contrast to his actual bedroom of monochrome hues. It doesn’t look like the bedroom of a thirty-one-year-old man and that was the point. It wasn’t meant to be believable anymore but people still brought it. The room was a lie and it didn’t feel right, not after months of bringing the truth of what he and Dan were to the surface.

Even though the truth was obvious, hidden behind a lie that was translucent for anyone who cared enough to look, he didn’t want that lie to follow him to their forever home. The plans for buying a house together would be set in motion soon, once the tour had come to its full conclusion. He didn’t want to start that chapter of his life lying to his audience, sidestepping around what they meant to each other. He didn’t even know if they could platonically justify buying a home together. They probably couldn’t and Phil yearned for a solution.

The solution he was looking for was the reason he had come here in the first place.

He walked across the room, towards the chest of drawers, in search of a certain something he hadn’t touched since he got it.

Tucked in the second drawer, behind old clothes he hadn’t had the heart to chuck out, was a small black box. Its edges were a little worn, showing its age but that added to the charm. 

He opened it, eyes were drawn to how the diamonds glimmered in the light. Last Christmas, Kath had given him the heirloom, with the hope that he’d put it to good use when the time was right. Marriage wasn’t really a thing with the Lesters and that’s what made it so special. Kath had given him the ring because she believed that Dan was worth marrying and no matter how many months passed, Phil still couldn’t help the tears that threatened to blur his vision. Kath saw what he could see; that Dan was his constant in a world full of uncertainty. 

The ring would never fit Dan. It was made for delicate fingers, not the large hands of a large man, but that didn’t matter. The ring was just a symbol.He could get it resized or the stones transferred but it was the symbolism that held importance. The ring meant finality, a promise that he would stand by Dan’s side for as long as life let him. It was solidification of almost a decade of knowing each other, of the love that was between them.

Marriage might just be a piece of paper and an overrated ceremony but it was what Phil had wanted for a long time. He had just needed to wait until the timing was right, and now was it.

He and Dan had talked about proposing too many times to count. Each scenario they dreamt about had been extravagant, with fairy lights and foreign cities. Proposing like that sounded romantic in theory but it wasn’t their style. Dan may love being spoilt and indulging in a lavish lifestyle but Phil didn’t want that for his proposal. Instead, he wanted something more them.

He closed the box and tucked it into his sweatpants pocket. There was something so fitting about popping the question on a day like this. Pyjama week was all about being transitional, about snuggling up together and playing games, recharging after months of running on half capacity. It was the ending of one chapter and the start of another and Phil wanted to spend the next chapter, and every other after that, with Dan as his husband. 

He left the room, Shreddies still in hand; heart racing although not from nerves. He was excited, so bloody excited about what he was about to do even if he had no idea what he’d say. What even was there to say? Dan knew how much he meant to Phil and the ring in the old jewellery box spoke a thousand words. 

Dan was still asleep when he returned to their bedroom. The sky was getting lighter outside - turns out it was dawn after all - and the first few drops of gold saturated the skin on Dan’s back. He looked like an oil painting, a golden man between grey sheets, face dusted with freckles and brown curls wild on the pillow. This beautiful creature was the man Phil was going to marry. He was the man Phil had wanted to marry ever since the first time he said  _ I love you.  _

He’d always known that Dan was his person and now, after nine years, the time was finally here. 

Phil slipped into bed again, moving Dan a bit so he could slide down beside him. The engagement ring felt red hot in his pocket as anticipation grew and the moment drew closer.

His shuffling seemed to wake Dan, eliciting a mumble as he moved to get comfy again and Phil took it as a chance to bring one of Dan’s hands to his lips, kissing it gently. That was enough to stir Dan, long lashes fluttering as he opened his eyes to look at Phil.

He felt his heart speed up. Even after so long Dan still made his insides feel like mush. He didn’t know if there will ever be a day when watching Dan wake up doesn’t make him feel even more in love. 

“Morning you,” Dan murmured, voice thick from sleep. 

Dan’s eyes caught his and Phil can’t help but get lost in them for a moment. In the morning light the brown hues were saturated like melted chocolate. Phil could happily admire them for the rest of eternity but he had more pressing matters to attend to.

“Morning love,” he replied before he kissed Dan’s hand again.

Dan shuffled closer, pulling his hand out of Phil’s hold in favour of wrapping it around Phil’s waist, pulling him closer so their mouths could meet in a kiss slow with the residue of sleep.

As they kissed Dan’s hand trail down Phil’s back, dipping to his thighs before brushing against the ring box.

“Happy to see me?” he asked, pulling back a bit.

Phil felt his entire body freeze up for a moment, unsure of what to do as he watched Dan’s eyes study him with curiosity, his hand lingering on the box.

“It’s for you,” he said once his body kicked back into motion.

Dan’s brows furrowed for a moment before he dug his hand into Phil’s pocket to grab the box. Phil couldn’t even breathe as Dan brought his hand out from under the sheets. He watched as realisation dawned on his partner’s face. Dan looked at him and then the box and then him again, his eyes wide, the remnants of sleep now forgotten. 

“Open it,” Phil’s voice was barely a whisper. His entire body trembled as his heart beat heavy in his chest.

Dan opened the box slowly, as if he was processing if any of this was real and Phil felt like he could combust the moment he saw the ring. Before Phil could speak, Dan’s mouth was on his, kissing him with so much love that his heart felt like a hummingbird.

“Yes,” Dan said before kissing him again. “Yes. Yes. Yes.”

“I haven’t even asked the question yet,” Phil chuckled, nudging his nose with Dan’s.

Dan pulled away, blush blooming on his sun-soaked cheeks, “Ask me.”

He picked up the box still in Dan’s hand and took the engagement ring out of its cushion.

“I’ve dreamt of this day for years and I never pictured it happening in bed during the morning but here we are. When I’m with you the world feels a little brighter, you make each day worth waking up to and I hope that I’ll always wake up to see you’re gorgeous face next to mine. Which is why I have that ring because if I have to get legally stuck with anyone for the rest of my life, I choose you. So, will you marry me, Dan?”

“Yes,” his answer was instant and Phil could spot dampness on Dan’s cheek, so he leant over to kiss the salty tears away.

He reached down to take Dan’s left hand so he could put the ring on his finger, “Now this won't fit because it was originally my great-great-great-grandma but now it’s yours to keep.”

The ring couldn’t get past his second knuckle but that didn’t matter; they’d work out what to do with it later.

“We’re getting married,” Dan said in awe, bringing his hand up to eye level so he could watch the diamonds glimmer in the morning light.

Married. Hearing Dan say it made his insides turn fuzzy. Phil reached up to hold Dan’s hand, thumb grazing over the ring as he leant in to kiss him. 

Phil grinned into the kiss, “We’re getting married.”

Dan rolled backwards onto his back, pulling Phil on top without breaking the kiss, his hands sliding up to wrapped around Phil’s neck. They stayed like that, entwined under sheets that smelt like them and felt like home as the sun made its way over the London skyline. 

A new chapter of their life had just begun and with it would come new challenges but none of that mattered. The only thing that mattered to Phil as he kissed the man the loved in a bed that - after months away - is their own, was that he is Dan’s and Dan is his. 

**Author's Note:**

> come say uwu on [tumblr](http://scifiphan.tumblr.com)


End file.
